Last Updated 10/2/98

Help! I've lost the non-Christmas graphics!

The latest issue of what Stephen Hawking has called "the world's most bestest thing ever" is here.

Sorry, CU fans, but the Cheltenham Update has been officially 'rested'. If you've got more than a couple of brain cells, you would have realised this, but I've already heard of at least one person wailing about the next issue being 'late', so I thought I'd better put this message up for all you poor sods waiting for the latest installment.

I'm going to leave all this stuff up here for as long as Geocities don't notice that I've gone, so feel free to peruse the back catalogue at will.

I'm hoping to go off and do something in the 'real world' of journalism, so you may see me in print somewhere in the world, ranting and moaning to my heart's content. More likely, of course, is me spending my days playing the harmonica outside Cavendish House.

Well, goodbye then, readers, and thanks for listening.

"The optimist smiles through disappointment, whilst the pessimist is never disappointed." - Anon.

The real reason you've come here - The Cheltenham Update - can be found in The CU Emporium. We're up to a big 15 issues now, including the BRAND NEW ISSUE 14. (Yes, I know it doesn't make numerical sense, thanks). You won't find Issue 10 there, because I'M THE MAN WITH THE MASTER PLAN.

At last! You can stop holding your breath, for the results of the latest headline comp are in! Have YOU won? Can you even remember entering it? Can I even remember what the answer is? And so on. Go here.

If you're not at all sure where or what Cheltenham is, or you want to find out a little bit more about the Cheltenham Update before you plunge into its welcoming arms, the worst place you could check is the CheltFAQ. Because I've read it recently and realised it's crap.

Currently, three Top 20's are available. The 'Eddie Edwards' one, the 'Regent Arcade' one, and the BRAND NEW 'Tips to write your own CU' one. Choose carefully - you know what happened to that girl out of Labyrinth when she picked the wrong door. HANDS!

The CU Index. Ever wondered to yourself, "Ah, now where was that particular thing I remember from a CU I once read"? Well, obviously not, which is why the index is 'tongue-in-cheek', as they say. Has anyone actually read this?

Oh, yeah, and there's some links. It's split into three sections! You can't go wrong! Includes a link to a fellow appreciator of Mr. Biffo from Digitizer, my good mate Alan's site, and someone who mentions the Speccy - a man after my own heart.

Rude chocolate bar list cancelled due to possible lawsuit from Nestle.

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